Clean and Fair - What is wrong with that?

Can anybody tell me what's wrong with wanting something to be clean and fair? That is what BERSIH 2.0 is about - clean and fair election. So I cannot comprehend why such a noble cause can be turned into something ugly. Their 8 demands, make perfect sense to me (but perhaps they are idealistic and cannot be achieved all at once). I don’t think there is anything wrong for lay citizens to demand these fundamentals for a democracy. I think the Government is over reacting in this fiasco. Comeon, how can a peaceful march harm the country? Some businesses are complaining it will affect their business, what about those numerous marathons and marches or parades that we have done before in the past? Certain roads in KL were closed too, that one no one complain meh? I am sure there were complaints but they were not highlighted. Come on lah, this is call selective reporting.


Before March 2008, I was rather ignorant about the politics of the country, I didn't even vote that year (because I just delivered my baby that time) but ever since that tsunami, I begin to pay more attention to what is happening in this arena. Coupled with many other factors, like TBH, Alanthuya, rampant corruption, Sodomy II, etc., you cannot but take notice. What is Malaysia coming to? If this is not corrected, Malaysia can only get worse. Some people ‘solve’ the problem by leaving the country and call somewhere else home. But for those who cannot or do not want to leave, we should all care to make our beloved country better, not worse. What could be done? BERSIH is an important start. If you still think that the country is fine must, you must be in LALA land. If you think that we are not that bad, well, can we afford to wait until we are THAT bad?  

For those who think that BERSIH 2.0 march could lead to a riot and lead to the overthrow of the Government, I think the idea is too farfetched. Malaysia has not reached such a stage as Egypt or Tunisia yet, but we are on our way there if we are not careful. I totally respect Datuk Ambiga, she is such a brave and smart lady (I wish a lot more people will be like her). And she has assured that this is a peaceful march, so why are the police overreacting, arresting people for no apparent reason? Even wearing yellow now is forbidden? Can my children still watch Spongebob Squarepants? Maybe ban yellow pages? Is this a lawless country? I didn't care for yellow so much until now, it's my new favourite colour! Shall I spot it for the weekend shopping trip?

Till then, let's listen to the Beatles:

Single Days

This week, I met a few new people at an external training. Amongst them are 2 single ladies and I can't help but think about the times when I was single. Kind of miss it. I have some old classmates who are still single and I would presume living their lives to the full. They can travel easily and enjoy companies of friends at any hour of the day/night. They can go to pubs and chat their heart out. They can go for food hunting during weekends and have short trips to Penang or Singapore with minimal preparations.

I remember back in the days when I was single, I was also carefree. I had a few colleagues who were close to me in my old workplace and we would go out almost every night to cafes and pubs. Go hunting for good food every where and people watching at popular places like Bukit Bintang, etc.. During the weekends, we will plan some other activities, maybe a short adventure to nearby place, or go someone's house for some feasts. All of us were single and did not have much commitments (financial or otherwise) . We could afford spending money and time like that then. Those were the days...

Most of us have moved on to other companies, some have got married, some haven't but we have grown apart sadly. We also seldom keep in touch but I think that is probably my fault mostly, for not having the effort to do so. So if you guys are reading this, I want to tell you I thoroughly enjoyed your companies then and wished we could have stayed in touch. Just like my friends in school and university as well. There was a period of time we see each other almost everyday. Then there were also my online friends, whom I have spent countless hours chatting with behind the comfort and safety of my PC, most are long gone. Now, people keep in touch with Facebook.

But life is so. Things changes, people grow apart, new people come into the picture and new friendships and relationships take precedence. To people whom I had the privilege of forming friendships/relationships with in the past and present (and future), all you guys made my life interesting and colourful at one point of time, you all contributed to who I am or will be as a person, I really want to say thank you. And I hope I had done or will do the same (even a little only) for you.

Of course, I wouldn't change a thing about my life because it brought me here now. I have a family and three kids whom I love so dearly. They are the center of our lives but once in awhile, I am allowed to day dream about those single days, right?

Race: Human Race

Are we getting to be less Chinese by the generation? In a sense, it is true. But what is exactly defined as being of Chinese descent?

Interestingly, I read recently in the MI article, YB Hannah Yeoh, whose husband is of Indian descent, is challenging the matter of defining a race in the birth certificate of their new born child, in court. I think it is about time these things are being set right. It is not right to ask parents to define a race of their child in mixed parentage cases like this. It's like, do you love your mum or your dad more, choose one and then define his/her race as your race. It's so unfair, to make a choice, especially on behalf of your child. I definitely support this couple's challenge in court to allow them to define their child race as "Anak Malaysia". Let's make it right once and for all! Better still, abort race all together, and don't make it any legal need to define someone's race.

But before you get any idea that I am ungrateful to my ancestors or that I am 'nut who forgot it's cover/skin' (kacang lupakan kulit), I am not saying you should forget about your parentage altogether. I am saying just that there is no need to define it in any legal/formal document. Because, in some situation, you are neither this race or that.

So back to my question, how do you define someone as of chinese descent? Someone who speaks chinese, act chinese and has chinese ancestors? To me, aside from my name, my look and food preferences, I think I am not distinctively chinese anymore. My values and my outlook in life is not typically chinese, I cannot read and write chinese, I am not familiar with chinese history or the many cultures, etc.. But if there is anything I think I would want generations after me to retain as chinese descendents, it would definitely be the food. Followed by the non-religous chinese festivals and then by the language (including the different dialects).

For example like the recent Duan Wu Jia, it's the 1st time I tried making 'chung' or dumplings with my mother-in-law. I think this is something wonderful of the chinese culture to be passed down to the next generation. I definitely will try to do that again and teach my kids at the same time. Next on my lists are to learn to make other types of food like yong tau foo, chu kiok cho, making rice wine, etc..Let's hope to hear about that soon.

Back again to Hannah Yeoh's dilemma. Some may argue that you should choose the race of your father and define that as yours because this world is still male dominated. But that is hardly right, in case you don't know, Beyonce sings: Who run the world? Girls!. So I will look forward to a good solution to her case in court but I won't put my hopes up too high. This is Malaysia afterall. But in the meantime, I want to believe in you, Beyonce...

Still here?

It's 6am and I have been up since 4.30am. Not being able to sleep after been woken up by my little girl because it's just too warm. I am sweating even when I am not doing anything! Malaysian weather is getting worse, isn't it?

So I have been up reading the online news, checking on my black glutinous dessert cooking in the slowcooker and thinking about several things. Oh yeah, also noticed that the home PC was infected by Spyware (must be the careless hubby or the clueless kids that allowed that to happen) and cleaned it up with Malwarebytes.

I was reading the letters published on MI about why people stayed in M'sia or migrated to other countries. Reflecting on this, I honestly think I have always have this in the back of my mind. If you asked me why I would consider migrating, I think my main reason is because of the weather. My second son, who is like me, sweats easily, always complains about the weather being too hot. My answer to him is, this is Malaysia mah!


And if you ask me again (Ok, I know no one asked me anything, it's me talking to myself on my own blog, because I can!), which country would you prefer, my answer is US of A! To live the American dream, to go watch David Letterman Show live, to sit in rock concerts of the super rock stars, to move anywhere in the US and find the place and weather most pleasing (I think Georgia is a good state to be). I never thought of anywhere else, although my hubby thinks South Africa has great weather and it looks like Australia is a preferred destiny for many others, at least it's just 7 hours plane journey away if we plan to come back often (compared to more than 24 hours for USA).

Now if you ask me (as if...) why I am still here? Mainly because I am not motivated enough to do anything serious about it. As the age progresses, the motivation and opportunities also become less. I guess I was/am not sure if that is what I really want for me and my family. The effort and struggles to look for and plan migrating a whole family, the kids, the finances, it's no easy task by any standards. Of course we are talking about legal migration and not "jump plane" (tiew fei kei). Then there are family ties. Starting life anew in a different continent is also daunting, with no other family members to depend on.

Well, other than the weather, many fellow Malaysian will complain about the politics, the government, the unfair policies, etc..But there are also the things that we are so used to and like. The food, the people, the places, etc.. Basically of the good, the bad and the ugly of Malaysia, SHE is the only country I know and call home, for now. (But honestly, I am not dispelling all notion of trading that for another country, who knows what the future holds.)


So it's no surprise when I always look for cooler places to go to for vacation. Cooler, but not freezing, mind you. Cause you know snow is good and fun for 1 day but not for months! But if cannot move to cooler countries, then move to Cameron Highland or Mount Kinabalu, can?

Trust me?

Do we really, honestly trust each other? Do husbands and wives, parents and kids, lovers, siblings, friends trust each other? Do neighbours and co-workers trust each other? As much as I would like to say I do in my own capacities as a wife, a parent, a sister, a friend, etc., I really don't think I can honestly answer it in the affirmative, 100%. But then again, nothing is 100%.

Lately, I have seen and experienced some of the ugly sides of not having trusts between people. Since these things aren't exactly things to be shared out, let's just take it at a general level. Trying to find out how to define trust in relationships, I found many interpretations. These are what strike me as most aptly described.  

1) Trust is both and emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness. Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both. I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness and because I have faith in human nature. (Source:ChangingMinds.org)

2) Trust means to believe. I trust you, means I have no doubt in my mind about your honesty, integrity and credibility. No relationship can survive without trust. How to develop and keep the trust in a relationship forever, because as soon as the trust breaks, the relationship breaks. Trust is the foundation on which a relationship is built. If you don’t trust a person, howsoever you may love him/her, your relationship will not survive, because you have no trust in him/her. (Source: yourromanceguide.com)

Some of you may have gone through some teamwork trainings at work, where the trainer will ask your fellow colleague to 'receive' you while you allow yourself to fall faceup onto your back? The purpose is to illustrate how to trust your co-workers. Frankly, I never like doing that fall. Not because I don't trust my co-workers but I don't have confidence in their strength to hold me from popping my eyeballs off head. Moreover, that is just physical trust, the things that matters more are the emotional and sometimes financial stuff.

So what's the point of all my 'shiok-sendiri' ramblings? Actually, there isn't. Just want to 'ngam' (means 'runggut' in malay or 'nag' in english) a bit. The truth is, when someone (especially your family/loved ones) display some form of distrust in you, maybe it's not just his/her problem. Maybe we didn't do enough to make him/her feel that you are absolutely trustworthy. Since nothing is absolute, we can never do enough, can we?

In short, no one can trust another 100%, but achieving 99.99% is good enough. For those who have been facing this issue of trust with people you care about or people you are forced to care about, then maybe re-examine if we have done enough to gain that person's trust. If everything else fails, there is always someone you can absolutely trust, 101%, and best of all HE has no problem trusting you back! Happy trust getting!

Modern Parenting

My kids are a bunch of quarrelsome lot. They drive me nuts sometimes. I am especially worried about my youngest, she is getting to be very bad tempered. You cannot scold her, she will shout at you and cry at a volume that you couldn't believe can come out from a 3 year old.   When she is nice, she is a darling but when she is upset, she is really an earful. She even swears, in (broken) malay! Example of her swearing, "lu siapa, lu berak dalam seluar!". Guess she is picking up these bad traits from somewhere, mostly from her brothers and some from the parents. She does take a little after me but she brings it to another level entirely!

My middle son, he is just plain loud and obnoxious, always getting what he wants and snatching things from his brother and sister. My eldest, he is more mellow in comparison but may display extreme anger when really upset. He still worries me a lot because he is always so listless, leave things everywhere and losing stuff all the time. He is also very, very mischievous, doing weird things that he knows will get him in trouble. 3 kids with 3 different characteristics, we don't really know what to do. *SIGH*

I have bought some books on parenting for my hubby's birthday present. Hopefully, we will learn some good technics on how to bring up good kids. Parenting nowadays is not like my parents' times, you need to learn how to deal with today's kids who are more exposed to knowledge and information, both good and bad. It's not like the dungu kids we were 20 years ago (By the way, for those who are curious about my age, it's 28. My aging machine broke down at 28, so forever 28). So we have to read more, research more and pray more :).

Received the iPad this week, after about 2 weeks + from ordering it online. Great looking piece of machine (I bought the white one) and works great. Did have a little trouble getting iTunes to detect it properly. I called for techinical help from Apple and it was a pleasant experience. Nice lady and very professional. The matter has since been resolved with a little plugging in and out of device and network cables.

Going to make this iPad a reward for the kids when they are well-behaved! We have to resort to threats and treats to get them to behave, and it works, sometimes. We learnt this from Nanny 911 which I mentioned before in a much earlier posting. We give stars for deeds that they do and thumbs down for misdeeds. Over the months, this process has not been upkept properly, it's time we reinstated it and keep it consistent. I read that consistency is important when dealing with kids, guess we as parents have to work extremely hard to ensure consistency in the ways we treat and deal with our kids. Daddy, I know you read this, CONSISTENCY is the key, work with me!

About Bags and Pants

I made some pyjama pants for my boys and they are happily wearing them to sleep last night. It's been hard to find cheap and comfy long pants for them to wear to bed, so I thought it would be great to make them some. It turned out to be fairly easy to make. I just needed to cut the cloth into 2 identical pieces (see pic) and join them up, hem and put an elastic around the waist and hem the bottom and voila! The pants turn out great. Now I might make some shorts for my hubby and myself using the same technic.

The series I am watching now.

Apart from that I am now watching a borrowed Korean series and in the pipeline, I just bought a new series myself, yuhoo!! Last night I watched 4 episodes after the kids have gone to bed, and today I woke up feeling fine. My routine of getting ready to work and getting the kids ready for kindy and to their grandma's was as usual. Everything was ready in 30 or 40 mins. I was quite happy with the time and I even thought I have time to drive through to McD (I have been told is't McD and not MacD, so I will pay attention to get it correct lah) to get breakfast. Luckily, I changed my mind because when I reached office, I realised I left my entire handbag at home. I would not have money to pay for breakfast if I went to the drivethrough. That would be embarrassing. My hubby said I watched too much korean dramas but those korean guys are too irresistible. I heard from someone who went to Seoul, Korea that the korean guys she saw in the MRT were cute. I always thought that only the korean actors are cute and the korean laymen are not so good looking but hey, I would gladly be proven wrong, hehehehe. Maybe I should consider going for a vacation to Seoul with the girlfriends....

I also have to shop for a new handbag as mine is going to break. I think over the years, I have changed like one bag one year. Maybe it's time to consider getting an expensive and branded Coach or LV bag that will be longer lasting. I am not very particular about bag fashion, something practical and doesn't look like it belongs to grandma will be fine. And I am a lazy person when it comes to changing bags to suit the outfit. To me, the bag should carry all my necessary stuff that I will need and I do not need to port things here and there. Because, I know me, I will misplace stuff if I were to change bags frequently. So now I am on a look out. Should I spend a few hundred ringgit that will last me a year or a few thousand which may last me longer :(. If only money grows on trees.