Trust me?

Do we really, honestly trust each other? Do husbands and wives, parents and kids, lovers, siblings, friends trust each other? Do neighbours and co-workers trust each other? As much as I would like to say I do in my own capacities as a wife, a parent, a sister, a friend, etc., I really don't think I can honestly answer it in the affirmative, 100%. But then again, nothing is 100%.

Lately, I have seen and experienced some of the ugly sides of not having trusts between people. Since these things aren't exactly things to be shared out, let's just take it at a general level. Trying to find out how to define trust in relationships, I found many interpretations. These are what strike me as most aptly described.  

1) Trust is both and emotional and logical act. Emotionally, it is where you expose your vulnerabilities to people, but believing they will not take advantage of your openness. Logically, it is where you have assessed the probabilities of gain and loss, calculating expected utility based on hard performance data, and concluded that the person in question will behave in a predictable manner. In practice, trust is a bit of both. I trust you because I have experienced your trustworthiness and because I have faith in human nature. (Source:ChangingMinds.org)

2) Trust means to believe. I trust you, means I have no doubt in my mind about your honesty, integrity and credibility. No relationship can survive without trust. How to develop and keep the trust in a relationship forever, because as soon as the trust breaks, the relationship breaks. Trust is the foundation on which a relationship is built. If you don’t trust a person, howsoever you may love him/her, your relationship will not survive, because you have no trust in him/her. (Source: yourromanceguide.com)

Some of you may have gone through some teamwork trainings at work, where the trainer will ask your fellow colleague to 'receive' you while you allow yourself to fall faceup onto your back? The purpose is to illustrate how to trust your co-workers. Frankly, I never like doing that fall. Not because I don't trust my co-workers but I don't have confidence in their strength to hold me from popping my eyeballs off head. Moreover, that is just physical trust, the things that matters more are the emotional and sometimes financial stuff.

So what's the point of all my 'shiok-sendiri' ramblings? Actually, there isn't. Just want to 'ngam' (means 'runggut' in malay or 'nag' in english) a bit. The truth is, when someone (especially your family/loved ones) display some form of distrust in you, maybe it's not just his/her problem. Maybe we didn't do enough to make him/her feel that you are absolutely trustworthy. Since nothing is absolute, we can never do enough, can we?

In short, no one can trust another 100%, but achieving 99.99% is good enough. For those who have been facing this issue of trust with people you care about or people you are forced to care about, then maybe re-examine if we have done enough to gain that person's trust. If everything else fails, there is always someone you can absolutely trust, 101%, and best of all HE has no problem trusting you back! Happy trust getting!